i was talking to my sister on the phone the other day and she has a tendency to talk for several hundred years so eventually i got hungry and grabbed a rice cake and started to Munch and she goes “what’s that” and i said “i’m eating a rice cake” and she’s like “oh gross you like those?”
and without thinking i said, “they satisfy my urge to eat packing peanuts” and what followed was seven full seconds of silence
like oh okay go ahead and pretend you’ve never wanted to eat a packing peanut you pretentious fool
i was talking to my sister on the phone the other day and she has a tendency to talk for several hundred years so eventually i got hungry and grabbed a rice cake and started to Munch and she goes “what’s that” and i said “i’m eating a rice cake” and she’s like “oh gross you like those?”
and without thinking i said, “they satisfy my urge to eat packing peanuts” and what followed was seven full seconds of silence
like oh okay go ahead and pretend you’ve never wanted to eat a packing peanut you pretentious fool
Ch 5: Pg 63
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“GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH THE GREEKS AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL”
“sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse”
“oh rad bring it in”
schnapskatze 